Hi I'm a Dragon by Brenna Raney

Hi, I’m a dragon. I like to eat kids.

I store them in barrels and label the lids.

I roast them and bake them and flour their hides,

I serve them with beans and I serve them with fries.

I eat them in slices, I eat them in scoops,

On cold nights in winter I eat them in soups.

Say how you like them, however you wish,

Kids are this dragon-chef’s tastiest dish.

Pickled kids, dried kids, kids on flambé,

Join me for dinner we’ll eat some today.

Older kids, younger kids, kids about half-grown,

Pick one from my pantry, kill them fresh, or bring your own.

Shoot ’em, gut ‘em,

Skin ‘em, stuff ‘em,

Put ‘em on a stick to fry,

Grill ‘em, chill ‘em,

Once you kill ‘em,

Any form will satisfy.

So kids, when you go out to play

And live through that entire day

And go inside and go to bed

and at this point are still not dead,

Take a moment for pity and offer a prayer—

Your life means a dragon is hungry somewhere.

by BRENNA RANEY

Maybe Dats Yowr Pwoblem Too by James Hall

All my pwoblems
who knows, maybe evwybody's pwoblems
is due to da fact, due to da awful twuth
dat I am SPIDERMAN.

I know. I know. All da dumb jokes:
No flies on you, ha ha,
and da ones about what do I do wit all
doze extwa legs in bed. Well, dat's funny yeah.
But you twy being
SPIDERMAN for a month or two. Go ahead.

You get doze cwazy calls fwom da
Gubbener askin you to twap some booglar who's
only twying to wip off color T.V. sets.
Now, what do I cawre about T.V. sets?
But I pull on da suit, da stinkin suit,
wit da sucker cups on da fingers,
and get my wopes and wittle bundle of
equipment and den I go flying like cwazy
acwoss da town fwom woof top to woof top.

Till der he is. Some poor dumb color T.V. slob
and I fall on him and we westle a widdle
until I get him all woped. So big deal.

You tink when you SPIDERMAN
der's sometin big going to happen to you.
Well, I tell you what. It don't happen dat way.
Nuttin happens. Gubbener calls, I go.
Bwing him to powice, Gubbener calls again,
like dat over and over.

I tink I twy sometin diffunt. I tink I twy
sometin excitin like wacing cawrs. Sometin to make
my heart beat at a difwent wate.
But den you just can't quit being sometin like
SPIDERMAN.
You SPIDERMAN for life. Fowever. I can't even
buin my suit. It won't buin. It's fwame wesistent.
So maybe dat's youwr pwoblem too, who knows.
Maybe dat's da whole pwoblem wif evwytin.
Nobody can buin der suits, dey all fwame wesistent.
Who knows?

Thank You

I've had a great time this year with you guys. You're a special group. Ya'll keep it real in college and keep in touch. Love you ALL!!!