Hi I'm a Dragon by Brenna Raney

Hi, I’m a dragon. I like to eat kids.

I store them in barrels and label the lids.

I roast them and bake them and flour their hides,

I serve them with beans and I serve them with fries.

I eat them in slices, I eat them in scoops,

On cold nights in winter I eat them in soups.

Say how you like them, however you wish,

Kids are this dragon-chef’s tastiest dish.

Pickled kids, dried kids, kids on flambé,

Join me for dinner we’ll eat some today.

Older kids, younger kids, kids about half-grown,

Pick one from my pantry, kill them fresh, or bring your own.

Shoot ’em, gut ‘em,

Skin ‘em, stuff ‘em,

Put ‘em on a stick to fry,

Grill ‘em, chill ‘em,

Once you kill ‘em,

Any form will satisfy.

So kids, when you go out to play

And live through that entire day

And go inside and go to bed

and at this point are still not dead,

Take a moment for pity and offer a prayer—

Your life means a dragon is hungry somewhere.

by BRENNA RANEY